WESun, WESat challenge response, MaadMaax Len, The Pregnant Man

Got knocked up

Yup

Boy inside
Little old me

Still smoking cigs
Still drinking beer
Cursing loud enough
For the embryo to hear

Gotta learn him good.

Baby pops out
hemorrhoids hurt
Little guy
Looks like a wrinkled turd

Not really

Sweet little guy
With a brown and a blue eye
One for his mom and one for this guy

He was swimming in beer
Cursing he would hear
What did he learn?
Nothing I fear.

His first words were
“I love you mom.”

~~~~~

The Challenges were: The Prompt from Sunday
Today I want you to think about the placement of the words on the page.

Study the examples. How does the typography affect the way you would read them if you were to read them out loud?

Write a poem, or take one you’ve already written. Experiment with the typography to vary the pace, emphasize certain words or phrases, even create visual puns—see the Kinnell poem or, in mine:

That link: http://writingessentialgroup.com/2014/09/21/sunwinks-september-21-2014-playing-the-field/
~~~~~
The prompt from Saturday: This Week’s Challenge:

Using prose or poetry, write about your own cravings when you were pregnant or about the cravings your wife/girlfriend had.

That link: http://writingessentialgroup.com/2014/09/27/wesat-september-27-2014-i-think-im-pregnant/

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Writing Essential/Friday (WEFri) Calamity Pam – A Story of the West

The challenge came from Sharon’s Friday Writing Essential. It was: This week lets go to the old west. Only need three ingredients;

A saloon.
A cowboy
And a saloon girl.

Whatever you want to do with those three is up to you.

Sharon Pribble

~~~~~

“Why there ain’t no gamblers in here?”

“They all went to a rodeo and I’m just about to join ‘em.”

Calam Pam looked over the saloon bar only to find the location of the bartender. He was pretending to look for something down low. “Give me a whiskey, Sam.”

Sure, Calam Pam. Here’s a whole bottle. Now I got to go.” Poor Sam’s face was so white he could have been in a fairy story.

“Sam, you look like you just seen a ghost. I ain’t the cause are I?”

“Well, Calam Pam, you did shoot General Store Joe in the hand.”

“Heck, that were a accident. Bought a faulty colt pistol and wanted to buy ammo for it. Stupid gun when off when I laid it down on his counter.”

“Heard you also shot Bob Dancing in the foot.”

“That were another accident. He were prancing, I started dancing, fell down and that dang colt pistol went off.”

“Calam Pam, here’s a bottle of whiskey. I’m off to join the boys.”

[With that final note, she proceeded to get quite drunk and then got really ticked off. Heck, none of that were her fault, but she figured she’d fix things. So, she rode to the rodeo, found a nice roaring fire and threw her colt pistol in it—ticked off that it was faulty. Killed a bull when it went off.]

The Secrets We Keep, by Kimberly Blackadar (A Book Review)

Every teenage girl will become completely involved with Kimberly’s book, The Secrets We Keep. Not just involved, but will relate to Callie’s experiences in friends, relationships and romance.

Callie is one of the seven Cs, a group of seven girls, all names starting with a C. Eventually, as a few of the Cs moved to different towns, there were fewer Cs, but their friendships remain.

As I said, every teenage girl, with hormones raging will relate to Callie, her arguments with her mother, her need to be loved by a boy and her need for that boy to be honest. Still, she finds she’s not totally honest in her relationships.

Sounds familiar for when you were a teen? Hmmm….

You can find this book and I believe it’s being offered at this time for FREE on Smashwords at
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/459371

WESat: September 6, 2014 – Inane Questions (Did She Move In?)

The Writing Essential prompt (for Saturday) http://writingessentialgroup.com/2014/09/06/wesat-september-6-2014-inane-questions/ was: This Week’s Challenge:
Using prose or poetry, answer my list of questions, argue my answers, or make up your own list of inane questions.

The editor/prompter started off with this: My girlfriend of a couple years broke it off with me two weeks ago. I now have a new girlfriend who is “considering” moving in with me. Do I want that? How can I tell if this is going to work? I know, I’ll think of the things that have been responsible for troubles in the past and see whether new girlfriend can pass an easy test. Here are the questions that she’ll have to answer…
~~~~~
(My response involves a few different questions.)
~~~~~
Which way do you like the toilet paper roll out?
Him: From the top.
Her: From the bottom.
Do you like to cook?
Him: Sometimes.
Her: Never. The kitchen hates me.
Do you like to clean house?
Him: Never. That’s a foreign idea to me.
Her: Nothing but my toilet, assuming you have two bathrooms. You’ll have to hire a maid for everything else, including your toilet.
Do you believe in sharing?
Him: Of course.
Her: Yes. I believe in the old saying, “What’s yours is ours and what’s mine is mine.
Do you like cats?
Him: Absolutely.
Her: Good because I have four and I’ll share them with you.
~~~~~
The end result was that they married. She and the cats moved in with him, and they lived like a normal married couple.

She allowed him to put his toilet paper in his bathroom on the roller any way he wanted.

He did all the cooking.

She used his money to hire a maid.

He cleaned out the litter boxes daily. He also cleaned up the cat barfs. Those were the two things the maid refused to do.

Dreams On My Pillow, by Irina Dimitric (A book review)

Dreams On My Pillow, Cover

I’ve come to love Irina and her poems. She has become a master of the various poetry styles and has even developed a style of her own.

Her book, Dreams on my Pillow, took me through her life, filled with wacky fun, sadness, happiness and all that goes with growing up.

I think my favorite was about her experience during World War II, The Air Raid. Her father was in a German POW camp; she running with her sugar rations to shelter as the warning sirens blared. This one put me on the edge of my seat.

For all of those that love poetry, I highly recommend this book. It’s a page turner and a keeper.

You can find both paperback and eBook on Xlibris:

http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-000930797/Dreams-On-My-Pillow.aspx
Softcover link:
http://bookstore.xlibris.com/Products/SKU-000930798/Dreams-On-My-Pillow.aspx

or on Amazon at
http://www.amazon.com/Dreams-My-Pillow-Irina-Dimitric/dp/149901192X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1409778360&sr=8-1&keywords=dreams+on+my+pillow

It was just published on Amazon, so the image doesn’t show up, but if you click on the link above, you’ll find it.